I am a pastors Son and I had to share this story because I am so frustrated. All my life I have done what my parents wanted, especially my Dad. I am the first born in my Family and I was born when my Dad and mum had been married for one year. He was a church member then but when I was 3, He started his own church. Then my mum gave birth to my twin sisters. Things changed.
While before he was a fun dad, he had time for me and mum. When he became a pastor, everything was different. We always had people in our house, for prayers, organizing conferences and others just wanted dinner. When I was six, I was the one playing drums in the church. I had to be in church practising as they prayed, and even most times, I got in trouble for not doing homework as we had been so busy over weekends nobody remembered. When i was not serving `God’, I was busy babysitting my sisters as my mum practised for choir. This was an endless cycle.
My relationship with my Dad changed when I was 12 as I could not keep being his servant. I wanted to go for a film with friends; he wanted me to go and play drums or just serve them and his groups of Pastors. When i wanted to go for a school trip, he had a conference organized! I watched my childhood pass by. When other kids had fun things to share of what they did with their parents, I was quite because i had nothing to say. Most of the church meetings did not address me. They were so spiritual and full on that i just did not connect. My mum had no say as she is the pastor’s wife. We now had money as Dad was going for trips and he had other pastors under him. They spent endless time in our house discussing money, conferences and projects.
One day when 16 I refused to go to a church meeting. He started shouting saying I am in a gang and I lost it! I told him off, told him he is a Gang leader! He just thinks of money! His church does not even like people in our community that goes to other churches; he did not even know who I am, what I like or even who my teacher was! He could not take it. He hit me and I left home. I was taken care of by my mum’ sister.
I am 18 now, working but very bitter. I lost my child hood. I do not even like to think about it. My sisters are now going through the same thing as they are 13. Why do Pastors do this? why do they assume the kids will just understand?