Husband and partners can make the experience a little bearable by:
- Take the children out to the park for a while to give her a break.
- Cook a meal, or arrange childcare so you can take her for a meal.
- Surprise her with nice gestures like flowers, running a bath or just a cup of tea.
- Reassure her of your love, even after the changes in her body due to childbirth.
- Share household chores if possible.
- More importantly, do not join in argument, be the calm one to neutralize the situation.
-Inform health practitioner if things give you concern.
This is a story Shared by Hilda from Swindon. READ ON.........
Then the baby came. Our lovely son, he could not be any more perfect. My husband was awesome for the first month and he did everything for me, with the occasional help of his cousin. We struggled but we managed to
fit into a routine. One month after the baby was born, I was a perfect mother, with baby duties in order, house sorted out, dinner sorted and to the world I was the most successful young mother. What they did not know is that I constantly cried uncontrollably, had crazy mood swings and loathed my life secretly. I started failing at my duties as a mum, and a wife. I hated taking care of my son, I hated cleaning up and basically my once well-organized
life became a mess. My husband started staying late as he hated the arguments. My husband decided that I should go back to work and he will take care of the baby. This worked well and for once, the change of environment seemed good but it meant that my husband had to work at night. Then during the day he was babysitting.Our relationship became routine to work and baby. We hardly did or talked of anything else apart from bills, baby care and duties.
With all this drama, I got pregnant again, hardly 15 months from my first birth and I knew that it’s going to be tough. I kept working but the pregnancy had so many problems those 5 months after conception, I had to leave work. It was a nightmare. I changed. He changed. When the baby was born, I was just chaotic. My daughter was a cry baby, which did not help. This time I went into the deep under. Our life was unbearable.
All this time, my husband was very supportive but he just did not understand why I changed so much whereas some of our friends have 4 kids and they are OK. I picked fight, hated sex, became unhygienic and cried like a baby. I gained so much weight that I also hated myself. Then the unthinkable happened, my once loving husband
had an affair! We fought, he blamed me. I blamed him.
I moved out. Got a council house and got into benefits. This time, my new GP talked to me about the weight gain. Then a broke out in tears and simply rumbled how I hated y life and my children and that my husband had let me down and all that. Outright my GP knew that I was suffering from postnatal depression. He gave me medication and a month after that, I started sorting myself out. I was slowly regaining my self-esteem. I stopped taking medication 4 months after prescription.
Now, my daughter is 2 years. I have lost most of my extra weight and I have moved back in with my husband. If only we knew that I was sick! If on somebody had suggested about postnatal depression, we would not have
suffered the separation, the anxiety, the anger, the tears and even the nightmare I put my children through.
There are other people out there suffering slowly and they do not know that it is a sickness. There is support out
there, treatment and the parents help you understand motherhood. I hope many of the young mothers, in a foreign country suffering from PND will seek support before it ruins their life.
Thanks Janet for the opportunity to share my story. Keep doing the Good work and God will bless you.
Hilda Mutua from Swindon.
That was Hildas Story? Remember that post natal depression is a an illness which might take time to recover from, give her the support to bring her back to her old self again. I hope this article helps people to understand issues of PND. If you have a story you would like to share, please use www.ukentv.com/contacts.