How would you feel if your mum, dad, sister or brother died and you were not able to travel for their burial? Sometimes our immigration status are the hindrances or in other circumstances, the finance required improptu for such a trip is not available. Not forgetting that funerals have become very expensive, if including exuberant hospital bill, then this become a highly stressful situation for anyone to deal with. This is a large group of Diasporians who need emotional support, even years after the death!
Travelling back for a close family burial is important for sharing thoughts, memories, or ideas with other loved. This is an integral part of the healing process and taking care of necessary business like inheritance.
In other circumstances, those abroad have lost their partners or their children in the absence of any family members to help them deal with the grief. The Kenyan Community networks, especially UK and USA are usually very supportive of a grieving person, and they get financial support to help on the urgent requirements.
But is it enough? What happens after the burial? Who follows up to check on the mental being of the bereaved? Many have become severely depressed after the passing of a loved one locally or abroad because there was no appropriate support. I know people who have lost themselves after such an ordeal, never gone back to their usual self! this is how bad it gets abroad!
How can you grieve in absence?
a) Link with close friends more and look for support networks. Churches, weekly discussion groups, support groups for those who have lost a loved one. If you are really falling apart, consider going to a councillor but do not bottle your feelings.
b) With so much social network, there is bound to be someone who share memories of your loved one. Write, sharing memories. When you put in writing, it does not stay in your head. More importantly, keep close links with your family whereaver you are.
c) Be active! Work less and excercise more, avoid stressful situation and treat yourself to feel good activities.
Always rmember that your loved ones loved you too, and they would hate to see you waste away in their absence. Do them a justice and work towards your healing. Never forgetting them, but living your life fully with their memories. You do not want their death to be your death sentence too!